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Flirting secrets you should've known by now

Most of our communication is not in the words we say but in our body language.

There are some aspects of body language that really are beyond our conscious control. Researchers have identified brief (lasting less than a second) facial expressions that involuntarily reveal emotional reactions such as surprise, anger or disgust. As humans we become very adept at reading facial expressions, even these brief glimpses at an early age.

While these expressions may be out of our control, there are many aspects of body language that we can employ successfully in the dating world. Knowing these signals can give you a big advantage when flirting.

As a man, you want to give off an air of confidence and control. This means an upright posture with chest out and shoulders back. It does not mean military rigidity or strutting like a peacock. And even though crossing arms doesn't necessarily mean disinterest, it's not the most inviting body posture. Avoid standing that way unless you do want to block somebody out.

Something people are less aware of is that crossed legs can have a similar implication as crossed arms. This is an area where there's a definite difference between men and women because women wearing skirts will often sit with crossed legs out of social convention and politeness, not because they're disinterested.

However a common crossed leg posture for men is a body language mistake. Many men crossed their legs by resting one ankle on the opposite knee. Don't do it if you're trying to engage a woman you're sitting across from. That crossed leg creates a barrier, a virtual wall between you, that will be difficult to overcome with your conversation.

When you're talking to a woman, be aware of her head tilt. If she tilts her head significantly to one side and that indicates that she's very interested in you and what you're saying. If she fiddles with her hair or tosses her head back, that's an even better sign.

Another aspect of body language that you can control is how you use your hands. If you think of the difference between a clenched fist and an open hand extended for a handshake I think it would be clear to you which is the most appropriate body language when you're flirting.

When you use your hands to emphasize a point or gesturing, have you hands open and palms generally facing upwards. This conveys openness and trustworthiness.

Another signal to be aware of when you're trying to meet woman is if she nods her head as she speaks. If she shakes her head in and no gesture as she saying yes, she means no. If she nods up and down in a "yes" signal, that's a positive response regardless of what her words are saying.

Once you're aware of these body language signals using the tao of badass it will be easier to recognize them when you're out in social situations.

Don't rush to try to use them yourself all at once or continuously. Instead, maintain a confident posture, notice what's going on around you and see if you can recognize the nonverbal cues being given off, and gradually try to incorporate body language signals into your social interactions, especially if you're flirting. Please visit for more useful tips.